jon wang

musings. from my life. 

the culture show

In 2001, I was part of the Chinese Student Association at Berkeley,
and I was an officer. I worked the Public Relations department, and
that stint gave me the realization that placing these details on your
resume was about as useful as learning Sanskrit. Furthertheless, I
had a good time, and I certainly did my fair share of goofing around
with other Chinese people, although 100% of them could trace their
ancestral roots to Taiwan.
 
Speaking of ancestry, I participated in the club's annual culture
show, 龍的傳人 (long3 de4 chuan2 ren2), which when translated, is the
Descendants of the Dragon. This was a song title back in the late
70's that basically came to stand as a sign of ethnic identity for all
Chinese people (but only the most patriotic types). Ironically, a
long time ago, I went to a summer camp in Los Angeles with the same
name, but as a kid with limited vocabulary I thought I had attended
the summer camp for the Dragon's Boatmen. The word 傳 (chuan3) and 船
(chuan3) are unfortunately homonyms, with the latter standing for
boat.
 
Anyway, I was part of a sketch that re-enacted a famous story from the
Three Kingdoms era. The part that I played was the great 諸葛亮, Zhuge
Liang, the smartest and most cunning strategist of all time. He was
the Da Vinci of Chinese people, except way cooler. I was naturally
chosen to play him because the director needed a tall person to fit
into the suit that was already purchased, no returns. The scenes performed
were directly out of popular folklore, and we chose 草船借劍 (tsao3 chuan3
jie4 jian4) 'using straw boats to borrow arrows' in English. I was
familiar with these stories only because I played Romance of the Three
Kingdoms I and II on the original Nintendo. I always liked the Zhuge
Liang character in the game because he had the highest rated
intelligence factor, at maximum 100, and his advice is never wrong.
He also had the 2nd highest charm rating, at 98, which meant that he
was excellent at recruiting fighters for your army. He was a shitty
fighter though. The guy I hated the most was Cao Cao, as he was
inarguably the best general in the game.
 
I wish I had saved the pictures of us, especially when I was wearing the
hilarious costume. The headpiece was literally an inverted brown
paper lunch sack with some paint and the yin/yang symbol tacked on it.
 I had this excellent robe and I pretty much looked like 林正英 (Lin3
cheng4 ing1) from Mr. Vampire, except that I didn't look 100% as cool.
 So I found a picture of us in makeup and prep, much thanks to Julie
in the middle for it, and Brittany/Catherine on the left for their
work in locating the costumes. I may have called the costume
low-budget as well as some other comments, but at least it was
sincere and from the bottom of my heart. The guy on the right is Mike
Chan, who was a terrible actor but became a doctor in 2008.

 

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false etymology

feel free to disagree as i completely made up the origin, but since it
sounded plausible, i ran with it.
 
魚乾: sounds great
魚乾: when will you arrived
jonathan wang: 30th
jonathan wang: lets hang out this time
jonathan wang: besides doing work all the time
魚乾: i'm trying to figure out the meaning of " hang out " here
jonathan wang: hang out means
jonathan wang: 'go have a beer'
魚乾: oh~~~
魚乾: cool
魚乾: yeah~~ lets hang out~~
jonathan wang: like you know how when you need to dry your clothes
jonathan wang: you hang them outside
jonathan wang: so you hang them with other clothes
jonathan wang: so imagine you are underwear
jonathan wang: and i am shirt
jonathan wang: and we are all hanging out
jonathan wang: therefore, 'hang out'
魚乾: oh~~ hmm that make sense

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the king of pops

jonathan wang: beckster
In Memory of Michael Jackson, the King of Pops: hey!
In Memory of Michael Jackson, the King of Pops: why beck-"ster" ?
jonathan wang: 'ster' is a very hip variation in american nicknames
jonathan wang: its like 'san' in japanese, except american version
jonathan wang: not really like 'san' but you get the idea
In Memory of Michael Jackson, the King of Pops: yes, got u! coz a
couple ppl call me the same
jonathan wang: also michael jackson was the king of pop
In Memory of Michael Jackson, the King of Pops: jonster?
jonathan wang: not pops
jonathan wang: no that doesnt work with my name
jonathan wang: good try
beckychu******@hotmail.com is now known as In Memory of Michael
Jackson, the King of Pop.

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apartheid in singapore?

from dr. david minh, biophysics. note the coincidence in picture
categorization with the first name alphabetically arranged.

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name 5 songs

While the death of Michael Jackson has definitely affected all of us
to some degree, and while it is certainly not short in media
attention, I've come to believe that most people are just posers when
it comes to being fans (of Jacko's music). Case in point:
 
On Saturday night, I was hanging out with some friends, and the media
was once again reporting about Michael on TV. Emily said, "are you as
sick of this as I am", and I said "yes, as a matter of fact, I'm tired
of people claiming that they love Michael's craft. In fact, I am
willing to bet that nobody here can name more than 5 of his songs off
the top of their head."
 
Brad was the first to fire out of the gates.
 
"I got this. Bad, Billie Jean, Beat it, Man in the Mirror, and Bad"
 
"You said Bad twice"
 
"Did I already say Bad, no I didn't, did I?"
 
"Yes, thats only 4"
 
Then Kim says "Oh, FYI"
 
"FYI what? You cannot be serious?"
 
So, because of this incident, the new rule is that any persons born
before 1991 who claim they know anything about Michael should at least
name 5 songs relatively easily, persons born after 1991, only need to
know at least 3. That is the bare minimum, GED requirement to avoid
embarrassment. Christina, aka the Malice from Dallas, agreed that,
for black people, the bar is raised +2 extra songs.  She named 12.

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positive press

what I have been working on for the majority of the past year

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the christian preschool

After a brief stint in Pennsylvania, my dad decided he had enough of
seeing the Nittany Lions lose more than 4 games in one season, so we
packed our balls and moved to Fighting Illini country where my mom
would pursue her PhD. It was here that I first started pre-school at
an annex of a local Christian church called Kiddie Country.
 
Though I was never baptised, my parents paid the associated fees which
turned out to be good enough to begin my process of salvation. One of
the main things I saw for the first time was praying before every
meal. I never had to pray at home, because the food was always good,
but now after eating meals prepared by my white friends in college, I
can see why this is necessary. But, the school cafeteria here
actually made some good food. I don't recall anybody else from this
experience, but I can remember exactly what the head chef was like,
sort of grab-bag mix of a sense of humor with that of Carol Burnett
and the physical appearance of the iconic image of Rosie the Riveter.
 
Lunch time was perhaps my favorite activity, and after so many years,
it still is. But during lunch, I was required to say grace
before starting. I had no idea how to do this. When I got to school
I didn't receive an orientation program, so I missed out on some
crucial theological training. So I followed the guy next to me and
since I couldnt speak any real language I just mouthed the sounds.
 
Naturally, after much indoctrination, this became habit. I took it
home with me and when my family sat down for dinner I put my hands
together and said a short prayer to myself. In front of a bowl of
rice I put my hands together, closed my eyes and belted out "GAH SAH E
SAH GAH, GAH SAH E SAY GAE". My parents would look at each other and
then wonder what kind of occult school they had sent me to, as they
obviously did not know nor understand this magical incantation.
According to my mom, they dealt with this for over 2 months before
figuring it out. My dad originally thought that I was just trying to
imitate what I saw in the segment of Walt Disney's Fantasia, where the
Sorcerer's Apprentice animates the brooms to clean up for him.
 
Finally, on the day when my parents came to visit, I was getting ready
to eat some Taco Salad with the other kids, and it was revealed that,
while I said "GAH SAH E SAH GAH", everyone else said "God is so good,
God is so Great"
 
The pictures below show my sisters table. My dad couldnt find one
with me in it. But the second picture is my sister wearing the penn
st. sweatshirt with yours truly sitting in time-out for violating some
house rules. My guess is that I started eating before prayer was
finished. I broke this rule a lot.
 
My dad is not sure if that is really me, but he says the sneakers are
familiar, and the way I am sitting in dejection is all too familiar to
him as well.

   
Click here to download:
the_christian_preschool.zip (600 KB)

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Filed under  //   growing up  

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music

Just a show of hands (comments), how many here grew up playing some
sort of instrument only to not have any shred of that skill left? I
would play the violin except mine was stolen, along with more
importantly, my Nintendo, from our house in the home robbery of 1993.
 
I am also curious about the learning music conditional probability,
piano or violin, or both, given asian kids. I am guessing its close
to 1.

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internet website

After talking to my Dad today, I realized that he still prefers to use
the entire phrase "internet website" in all its redundancy. It used
to be that, when giving out the web address, he also tells me the
entire one, beginning with 'http://' and 'www'. Now he's dropped the
'http://' as you don't need to type that into the address bar anymore.
 
Out of habit, I've caught myself doing this, as I just told him to
check 'the ESPN internet website' for information regarding the NBA
game. My family also has not caught on to the verbalization of
Google, so my parents will still ask me to use 'the google internet
website' to look up something. When I give them instructions, I have
to make sure to first include the preliminary task 'log onto the
internet' and 'open the web browser'. When describing T1 and Cable
internet, which they have now, I had to stress that there would be no
acoustic modem dialing sound, otherwise my Mom would just sit there
waiting for the transmission sound effects. You really just can't
assume anything.
 
But they have come a long way. To think that 10 years ago, my dad
would ask me for the CD-ROM. Now he asks me for the USB Flash Disk
Thumb Drive.

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list of chinese people

I came across this article on Wikipedia while reading about the Great
Leap Forward during commercials for Jon and Kate plus 8.
 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Chinese_people
 
Note the prerequisites in bold.
 
You really can't make a better all inclusive title than that,
especially for a country who's popluation already exceeds 1 billion.
Even better, this also includes fictional chinese people, because out
of the given pool of candidates we can't find enough real ones.
 
I tried to search for a list of regular chinese people but that doesnt
exist. Neither does a list of white people. Famous or average.

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